IN DEFENCE OF “GIRLY” THINGS

on fan culture and female enthusiasm

Hey, hey.

This was supposed to be a post about BTS because by the time this comes out (hopefully, I get it done on time) it’s supposed to be BTS '10th anniversary. Now, if you know me, you know I LOVE BTS, very much in this Bangtan shit for life. You can read some of the other BTS related stuff by clicking here and here. Now, I say “was” because that is not what this post would be about.

What I want to discuss is a phenomenon I have been thinking about for a while, especially because I was forced to think about- fangirls and how society views female enthusiasm.

A little backstory before we dive in.

I grew up liking things that were not conventionally seen as “feminine” or “girly”. I was the one who watched action movies instead of Barbie. Now, could I have rejected the rigid performance of gender? Yes but I didn’t because I didn’t have consciousness of anything social justice related so I doubled down on being “not like other girls”. Forgive those of us who became “woke” later in life.

Anyway, I already had the reputation for being the nerdy tomboy so I never got derision for liking things seen as “girly”. I did like Justin Bieber but it was never a major feature in my life so I was majorly fine. That was until I got into Korean entertainment, specifically K-dramas and K-pop. Anyone that knows me, knows I love Korean entertainment. Love me some Lee Min Ho, Song Hye Kyo. You would most likely catch me talking about my favourite shows. Then there is Bangtan Sonyeondan (BTS).

It’s no surprise that I love BTS especially because I say it a lot publicly. I became a fan of BTS in 2019 with their collaboration with Halsey and they did genuinely change my life. Didn’t publicly talk about them though, they were mostly my “little secret thing” that I enjoyed. So it wasn’t seen as my personality. In 2022, I started talking about them more. I still talked about history, politics, and my other “manly things” but I had started to be seen as a fangirl. This was extremely odd to me because people were ignoring my “intellectual side” and making me seem like a fangirl.

I think that is the problem with how fangirls and by extension female enthusiasm is seen in society. It makes the topic of female enthusiasm be seen as something silly and frivolous. Even I, a fangirl, was like why think of me as that? I am an intellectual.

This is not to say there isn’t any critique to be made about fangirls and fan culture in general but this is more to address the derision, dare I say the sexism against fan girls. When I say fangirl? I am sure you think crazy, obsessive, desperate, shallow and hysterical young women who only care about the attractiveness or sexiness of a musician or a band. Like what could they possibly know about quality?

The thing is we don’t have the same outlook for male fans, for example sports fans. On November 20th, 2022, the Qatar world cup started to much fanfare. The whole tournament was exhilarating, full of twists and turns and the final between France and Argentina didn’t disappoint. Throughout the world cup, I saw a lot of posts about various footballers across social media, which I am fine with. I do however find it odd that my public show of enthusiasm in things like BTS is seen as frivolous. I would be the first to admit that this is from anecdotal evidence but it is hard to look at it from my point of view and not raise an eyebrow.

Sport fans get to laud the athletic “superpowers” of Messi but I get dismissed for liking BTS when I post them. No one cares that I fell in love with BTS because of their discussions of things like depression, loneliness, love, pain and many complicated and relatable emotions. In fact, male fans showing public admiration for “masculine” artists like Kendrick Lamar (who I love), Future etc isn’t seen as odd and out of place but Beyonce fans are "extra". Rom coms are looked down upon but action movies are seen as cultural touchstones.

Before you say that fangirls do unreasonable things, I would just like to point out that so do sport fans but they don’t seem to be framed in the same way. Sport fans can and have been destructive, invasive and as problematic as fangirls have been. At the end of football matches, it’s not odd to see people crying at a loss or being obviously frustrated but fangirls being upset that One direction is disbanding or their favourite k-pop group going for military enlistment is being “dramatic”.

Now, the Beatles are seen as one of the greatest bands in the world but their initial mostly female fans were called “teeny boppers” and their behaviour was scorned by commentators. There was a lot of discussion on “Beatlemania”. It seems to me that fangirls are jeered at or at best patronized. They are seen as a mindless horde.

I think fangirls give us  permission to like things unapologetically, the same way fanboys show us the definition of pure enthusiasm. All I am saying is we shouldn’t treat enthusiasm differently because of femininity or its proximity to femininity. Liking Barbie isn’t more frivolous than liking toy trucks. It is fine to like pink, and watch rom-coms. Liking boy bands aren’t lowbrow activity. I am not one of those “divine femininity/trad wife” people, in fact, I have made a conscious effort to not perform the social construct of gender. I just don’t think “girl things” should be looked down on because women do them. 

To learn more about fangirls, watch this or read this.

Let me know your thoughts.

When you share on social media, kindly use #middlewords so I can find you.

Till the next time I write to you, bye.